Friday, November 30, 2012

Feeling the effects.

Yesterday I read Juliet Jacques' last column for the Guardian (it was a great series and I will miss it, good luck Juliet!), and something she wrote immediately jumped out at me: "I no longer feel constantly aware that I have recently had a major operation".

I read her column about surgery just as I was coming out of my own operation. I remember identifying with a lot of what she said at that point, about energy, and being totally dependent on her parents again. So I've been eagerly awaiting this next column, it's sad that it's the last one but great too as it means 'business as usual' at last for Juliet.

I realised that I am still constantly aware I've recently had surgery. It's in the little things. I'm hypersensitive of anything that could touch my head. And bending down is still quite disturbing. Physically as well, although that is definitely improving, my legs ache all the time. When I get up from sitting down I feel like I'm 80 (or what I imagine it feels like to be 80).

And there's the constant reminder in the mirror too.

With the clicking in my head, I didn't notice when it stopped - I just realised it had at a later point. I wonder if that will be the same with this. I'll just realise one day that I am back to normal.

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