We're on holiday at the moment so I took the opportunity one day this week to be bare-headed in public. Just to see what it was like. It's seemed easier here, where I was unlikely to bump into anyone I know.
It went like this: we stopped for lunch at a little chinese restaurant in the centre of Brighton; we were pretty chuffed to be seated at the best table - a booth; I tentatively removed my hat and we ordered. Then we noticed the mirror.
I was sitting directly underneath a slanted mirror, on the underside of a staircase, that was effectively reflecting an image of my scar to the entire dining room. That's enough to put anyone off their food.
Typical.
Initially I was hyper aware of everyone's expressions as they looked at me, trying to second guess what they were thinking. But I did relax after a while. Later, when we were in a pub with yoofs all around, I did get a bit more self conscious but then the alcohol kicked in.
It's only going to get easier.
Over here on my side of the screen I'm cheering you on. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI can't decide if you really meant bear instead of bare but f you meant the latter it's bare-headed i.e. hyphenated. Not entirely sure if you really meant the former.
ReplyDeleteWell done for getting through what must have been and probably still is, a tough experience. I'm glad it's working out for you.
I feel this restaurant outing must have pushed your perception of how people perceive you. I'm sure everyone else in the restaurant relaxed and forgot about your op scar too.
Happy holiday.
Gah - cringe! It was an accident but I actually like that in the heading, but am going to edit the other one now. What a dufus, I'm usually good at that sort of thing, how embarrassing. Thanks for your comment!
Deletei like it when peopleget confused with my lack of hair im make up a story about it every time it makes me giggle xx
ReplyDeleteHa - that's a good plan, I'll think up some outrageous cover story... thanks!
Deletejen, you are so very brave and honest and funny - thank you so much for sharing!!!! i wish you alll the best!!! x amy
ReplyDeleteThanks Amy!
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