This is a weird thing that just is.
I've been getting migraines for years, had my first one at 24 working in Nottingham and I just suddenly couldn't see, it was terrifying. Then I had to lie in a room for three days without the light on trying not to vomit - what is this hell? I couldn't understand what was happening to me.
I hate migraines, they are invisible and almighty. There is just no arguing with the nausea and pain and when it's there it feels like it will never go away. In a migraine I just can't imagine a world where I don't have that pain.
During these episodes over the years I have been known to be melodramatic. Every time, I convince myself there is something really wrong. Something is causing this horrendous head pain and it must be really wrong. There's only one thing it could be - I've got a brain tumour.
I've been saying that for years. I say it to Olly during every migraine and then we both go "naaah don't be ridiculous". I said it to the consultants and clinics I've been to. I've moaned at my family. I think I've even said it to work people.
I don't think I ever really believed it, but during the dark migrainous hours of seemingly endless and unstoppable pain, it has felt like the most obvious thing.
But of course I didn't really believe it (too easy to say that now).
When we were waiting in A&E on that Monday two weeks ago me and Olly talked about the first brain scan. I said I was well pleased. I would finally have categoric and visible proof that I don't have a brain tumour - oh how we laughed.
In the back of my mind there was a little gap though... unless...
Bloody told you so!